Saturday, January 19, 2013

baby G to be is a ....

HE!

^^
i would definitely call that a penis.


I WAS RIGHT! ever since isaiah and i have met, he always tells me that im right, 99% of the time. and the only time i was wrong, was when he proposed. but real talk, i am almost always right. i found out i was pregnant on a saturday, and by monday i was thinking baby is a boy. even at week 10, my family would say "oh you have no idea yet its way too early"... early might be, but this mama KNOWS.

we went in on wednesday morning for our 7:10am NT testing/screening at 13w2d. you know what that means. ultrasound ultrasound! WOOP WOOP. i was looking over at isaiah for the first few minutes because i am always freaked for something wrong, and there is a huge tv screen above my head thats turned on and ready to go. so if the ultrasound ever saw something wrong, id be seeing it at the same time as she was, and thats weird to me. within seconds i hear her say "theres baby!" so i went ahead to look up at the screen. i asked her if we can take a peek at HIS privates, and isaiah says it could be a girl! im like 'no babe. its a he, we went over this'. and of course the tech goes on to say "oh its way too early we probably wont be able to see anything yet and if we do it wont be a definite answer" - ya ya okay lady but can we peek or not!

baby was immensely hyper. the tech kept saying she couldnt believe how much he was moving and how long he was moving for. kept telling us babies will move for a minute or two, then sleep. nope. not our boy. he moved for at least 15 minutes. it took us a whole HOUR before we were able to measure his neck properly. at one point, he was even belly down kneeling and licking his hand. i shrieked LOOK AT HIM! HES LICKING LIKE A KITTY! and isaiah said just like our dogs. {lambeau and lucy are avid lickers. they are happiest if their tongue is on you or anything else. yuck} baby boy was spinning, dancing, swooshing from left to right. kneeling, sticking his butt up in the air. he loved to show us everything. aaaand that included, his bits. *see picture above* my boy is not a shy boy.




he is measuring 4 days ahead, but we suspect by the time i get to week 20, it will all be evened out. so were keeping my due date as july 23rd. i think that he has isaiah's nose, because it is straight. mine has a very strange slope to it. i also think that he has isaiahs lips, because i can see the outline of them. my lips are ridiculously small. people have made fun of me for my nose & lips growing up. however, baby boy has mama's stubborn attitude. i cant believe he wouldnt let us check his neck for the longest time! it was SO fun to watch him prance around in my belly though. 




i know it is early to find out the sex at 13 weeks, but if baby G is not a he, we're all in for a run for our monies. i think it is pretty safe to start moving ahead with the thought that were going to have a son! the tech even said if he ends up being a girl she'd give up her job because that up there "is definitely his 3rd leg". lol!

we got 2 videos of bouncy baby and 10 pictures. his NT neck measurement fluctuated between 1.5 and 1.6mm, which worried me a bit because i thought the best numbers were to be under 2 but the tech told me that they like to see them under 3. so hopefully we're okay there. & now were just waiting for the blood work results and all the final percentage/ratio numbers to arrive in the mail! praying for healthy happy results!

isaiah is thrilled. and i cant wait to raise a son with my wonderful husband.

let the nursery planning begin! {and the name picking!}



Friday, January 18, 2013

baby G to be

old wives tale:

1.  how you carry: they say if you carry in the front, its a boy. if you expand horizontally, its a girl.
     a. im only 13w5d now, and id say im carrying in the front. boy.

2. heart rate: they say if its typically under 150/140, its a boy. if its over, its a girl.
     a. our heart beats have been: 118, 174, 172, 171 and 165. girl.

3. cravings: if youre typically craving sweets, its a girl. salty & sour foods, its a boy.
    a. ive never been much of a sweets person, but i cant get enough brownies. overall though, im eating        lots of pizza rolls which i just learned are super high in sodium. oops. boy.

4. acne: if youre breaking out, the girl is stealing your beauty. skins smooth with a glow? boy.
    a. my skin is going haywire. girl.

5. clumsiness: if you're more clumsy during pregnancy, hes a boy. if nothing changes, shes a girl.
    a. i drop everything. boy.

6. chinese gender test: it just tells you boy or girl based on your conception/birthday dates.
    a. well i found two. the one that asked for my exact conception date & birthdate says girl. the one that just asked for my age and conception month, says boy. 

7. dads weight gain: if dad gains sympathy weight, baby is a boy. if not, baby is a girl.
    a. isaiah refuses to gain any weight with me. hes been at the gym extra and refusing to buy himself something when i have any cravings. lol. girl.

8. skin: if youre skin is dry, its a boy. if it is soft, its a girl.
    a. my skin is without a doubt the dryest and itchiest its ever been in my life. boy.

BOY = 5           GIRL = 4        *question 6 was answered with boy and girl*



i never thought we'd find out the gender so early! stay tuned!

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

boy vs. girl





let me just be honest with you all & selfishly say, i am hoping for a girl. becaaaauseeee id love to switch it up. i am surrounded by boys. and i just cant get over the hair bows. seriously.

between my family & friends, people from school and what have you - there are a lot of kids in the under 5 years old mark. wanna see what i mean about a girl switching it up?!

girls: kallen, sloane, jillian, laila, lilly, natalie, & lucca (on the way)

boys: dexter, aiden, carter, malik, makhi, jack, gavin, gage, another gavin, jaxon, another jaxson, dash, rory, ricardo, donovan, avery, eric, beaux, drew, avian, braxton, jaiden, trevor, king, tyson, riley, nathan

... i swear the list goes on and i am probably forgetting a good handful.

so many boys!

however, despite wishing for a girl, i've been 100% sure that this human inside my belly is a boy. i have a strong strong feeling about this one!

& that is okay too. because i imagine fun and great things about being a boy mom.



Monday, January 14, 2013

the 1st trimester: in review.

it may be your dream to be a CEO of a big time company, own your own business of some sort, become a professional athlete, move away.. what have you. but its always been my dream to become a mother. more so, to experience pregnancy.

1. november: thats when it all began. since we wrapped up october with our injection, we were waiting in limbo during the part that all those who try to conceive hate. almost as much as seeing aunt flo or the big fat negative: the two week wait. the 4th: i received an anonymous gift card in the mail to juut for $250, so i decided to go from blonde to brunette. i really have no reason other than i was desperately seeking longer, healthier hair. i had already changed my shampoos, tried different drying & brushing methods and been on prenatals for months. why wasnt my hair getting better?! maybe because i was still processing it every 2 months or so putting blonde. on blonde. on blonde. yikes. i had thought nothing about being pregnant, because aside from trying NOT to symptom spot, i was feeling no symptoms. so brown hair it is! & after my hair appointment, i had a mad craving for some saucy, cheesy cold pasta. i walked my butt right into byerlys and came home with an entire pound. {i didnt think of that part until just yesterday. though it was so so early, i declare that my first symtpom/change} the 6th: we voted! OBAMA wins! we also went shopping that night, and while i was in the Gap dressing room waiting for my husband to return with a new size of jeans, i stared at myself in the mirror. i thought to myself "i feel like a mom. i look different. i feel like i look like a mom" and when isaiah returned, i shared this news with him. interesting. again, we thought nothing of it. but ill never forget that moment and how i felt. it was surreal. the 7th: i tested. WHY? who knows. big. fat. negative. the 8th: i tested again. WHY? because thats how those TTC torture themselves, obviously. cue stark white test and a night of me breaking down as we drove to granite city to meet friends for dinner. the 9th: i didnt test. i wasnt going to anymore. i was surely positive that i was NOT pregnant and wasnt going to be. ever. the 10th: during the middle of the night, i had an experience that felt like i pissed the entire bed. i woke up, and tested. (i later realized that i in fact did not piss the bed at the age of 25, but rather it was just the progesterone that leaked out of my body vagina. ew) the test was negative, and husband wasnt yet home from the gym, so i put the test inside its wrapper and neatly placed it in the garbage so that he wouldnt see it and think ive literally gone off the deep end - and i hopped in the shower. for SOME ODD REASON, i felt inclined to pull the test out of the garbage when i got out of the shower. and there it was!!!! MY FIRST FAINT LINE!!! not one line like i had seen time and time again, but this time that one line had a friend, ANOTHER LINE!

//
in the dressing room. my first picture of my dark hair, when i had that feeling in that moment.



//
i had to make this picture extra large, because i wasnt kidding when i said the line was there, but faint.


//
the top is the very first test. 10dpo. the second, was the same day after a 4 hr hold. 
tests 3,4 and 5 were taken at 11dpo. the FRER at 12dpo. i took a digi at 13dpo & got in to the dr at 14dpo!







i continued to pee on sticks. over 20 of them. and i've kept each & every one. when i got in to the dr at 14dpo, my HCG beta level was at 238. i went in again at 16dpo to make sure that they would rise by at least 80%, hopefully doubling to ensure a strong implantation and good start to our pregnancy. at 16dpo, the doctor called with my results and my HCG beta level was 612. more than double! WOO!

so this is it. my dream come true. i AM pregnant.

2. heartbeats: i was beginning to think that this pregnancy was ectopic. over the thanksgiving weekend my cramping was getting stronger and more consistent so i called our fertility doctor and they got me in. reminding me a million times, that since i am so early, we would not see a heartbeat, much less anything else than the sac. i was also told that if its an ectopic pregnancy, the baby usually doesnt cause any pain at that time because its still too small to bother the tube. 5w5d: our first time seeing the babe, and our first time seeing the heartbeat. it measured at 118bpm. gosh. the heart consumed its entire body then, and it was just a wee little thing. bumpbumpbump. 8w4d: my pain hadnt left, so i wanted to check it out again, assuming that if it was indeed ectopic, 8 weeks is definitely enough time to cause pain. our second time seeing the babe and being able to hear the heartbeat. unreal. isaiah asked the ultrasound tech three times if he could hear it again and again. 174bpm. 11w: are you noticing a trend yet? im obviously a worried mama here. i had felt super eery and strange the last week and wanted to know everything was okay. i didnt have pain. i didnt have spotting. i was just going crazy. it was literally to the point that i was so wrapped up with this gut feeling of fear and worry, that i couldnt focus on anything else. sure i had my 12w check up in a week where we were going to meet our actual OB, but to wait a week? i couldnt sit through a tv show, i couldnt have a normal conversation with my husband, notta. i was so wrapped up in paranoia, that we went in for another ultrasound. this was over the holidays so we didnt get in with our doctor but went in to an elective ultrasound company. let me tell you, what a difference from the last ultrasound to this one. we can identify baby as baby! amaze balls. and once i heard the heartbeat of 171bpm, that was all i needed. 12w: time to meet our new OB! he was 40 minutes late. i almost left to get mcdonalds. dont you know pregnant women need to eat food?!! i didnt eat at home. i literally rolled out of bed, brushed my teeth, put on yogas and a bra and went out the door. another thing pregnant people need? sleep. and its rare. so i wasnt waking up an extra half hour early to eat. i also didnt know our doctor was going to be running late as ever either.{annoying} Dr. W came in and we did the usual chatting, symptoms, meds, scans etc etc. then it was time to hear the heartbeat on the doppler. woo! (that doesnt deserve a "WOO!" because it was only a doppler, no ultrasound. le sigh) as i mentioned before in the last blog post, HE COULDNT FIND THE HEARTBEAT! Dr. W was moving the doppler around and around and around. i kept intently watching his face for any signs of distress or nervousness wondering ok, seriously, whats next? if he doesnt find it do we go to the ultrasound tech? what if someone is in there for an appointment? do we go to the ER? what what what! i closed my eyes and prayed. when i opened them, he asked if i had a tilted uterus. "i dont know" i told him. why dont i know? ive had a million ultrasounds, procedures and surgeries down down there. how has no one noticed or told me!? he must have assumed i have a tilted uterus, and maybe i do. he turned the doppler off and handed it to me to hold. after he put on some gloves and gave me the "scoot down" & "itll be cold" warnings, in were his fingers and before i knew it he was pushing my uterus & told me to turn on the doppler. finally. there you are baby. a heartbeat of 172bpm. {dont do that to mommy & daddy again!}

//
5w5d. 118bpm

//
8w4d. 174bpm.

//
11w. 171bpm.


3. cravings: i have to say that my cravings have not been consistent. there hasnt been a certain thing thats lasted through the past 12-13 weeks. the week before i found out i was pregnant (so like, week 3?) up until week 6, i LOVED a good salad. if you know me, you know that before this time, i would have literally given you $1,000 before id eat a piece of lettuce. i loved oranges for a while. i ate 9 in one day. i ate a lot of egg & cheese bagels in the morning. near the end though, its been cereal. delicious. i wanted mashed potatoes, a lot. i think because what i really wanted was the gravy. i loved milk before and im glad to say i still love milk. i would never refuse subway. toasted turkey because pregnant women arent supposed to eat deli meat. however the hot turkey made me gag so id put it in the fridge until it got cold again and eat it to my liking. for not being a huge pop drinker before, i really miss dr pepper and crave pop. so from time to time we get the small cute teeny cans of A&W. juice is bluch and water gets boring. more so, ive been eating italian things. mozzarella and marinara. cheese sticks, pizza and a thousand pizza rolls. the first craving that i actually NEEDED in that moment, right now in that instant or the world is going to end, was mcdonalds chicken nuggets. seriously? i havent had mcdonalds in YEARS but i would give my left arm for some nuggets. and probably my right arm too. i havent ate any nuggets since that night, but i have had cravings for mcdonalds cheeseburgers. so weird. the one thing that i used to love, was leann chin. since being pregnant? na ah. no way jose.

4. symptoms: i did have early on cramping, turns out it was the corpus luteum, a cyst on my right side in which the egg came from. i was tired a lot. but i always am. my entire life ive been able to sleep sleep sleep, so this was nothing new to me. excessive peeing. yes, that. however it seemed my day time pees were normal. it was the every hour night time pee that never used to happen. i didnt become emotional. except before i knew i was pregnant and had breakdowns about never getting pregnant. i made it without crying during tv shows, movies or online articles. ive never had a bloody nose in my life, but now my boogies are almost bloody if i blow my nose. weird much? during week 9, i had my first headache. im still having those about once a week. i had the usual cravings. certain sense of smells have always bothered me, but none made me sick. i didnt puke often. i first didnt puke until 8 weeks. that was orange juice. & then some koolaid. so i was just done with the juice for a while. then at 10 weeks, my puking began like clock work. somewhere between 11pm & midnight. it didnt matter if i was still awake, eating or not eating, ate an hour before or 5 hours before. didnt matter if i took my prenatals in the morning, or at night. as soon as isaiah and i turned off the tv & gave our kisses goodnight, id roll over and then the feeling would come on. isaiah would hop out of the bed, turn on the bathroom light and id throw up. 5 minutes later, all is done and im able to sleep :) ive never been so thankful to have a bathroom in our bedroom. eventually, the puking happened at exactly 11:05pm. cheetos, mini corn dogs, prenatals, but usually just water & fluids. now i gag when i brush my teeth too. i never felt nausea. i think thats pretty fucking awesome. AND, it stopped just before week 12! thank you baby, for being so good to mommy. except that one time you were moving around & we couldnt find your heart beat.

5. weight: i started to watch my weight because of the PCOS so we bought a scale for our bathroom and i would weigh myself about once a week after the shower to check in. i got weighed at all of our appointments with the fertility Dr and again at our 5w5d appointment. so i knew what i was weighing here. as i continued to watch my weight, i noticed i wasnt going up and thought our home scale was broken. but it was going down and working for my husband? hmmm. not that youre supposed to gain a ridiculous amount during your first trimester or anything. at our 12w check up i was weighed at that doctors office as well. weight gain then from my "educators appointment" at 7 weeks, 1 pound! all those cheeseburgers and i only gained ONE POUND! holla. but i promise you, it wont be lookin that pretty the next two trimesters.

6. what i miss: i really wish someone would have told me how soon you have to stop sleeping on your stomach and i really wish someone told me how soon you can grow out of your clothes. i know that its different for everyone, but for me - the sleeping on my stomach happened quick. and so did bye-bye regular clothes. id say week 6 is when both happened. wearing my jeans or regular leggings were still possible, but after about 2 hours id be in pain and begging to be naked. sleeping on my belly caused pain and discomfort then too. i didnt take a bath for the first 8w, but then i really missed those so i gave in. i also miss jimmy johns. a whole hell of a lot. my husband says we will order jimmy johns from the hospital as soon as baby comes out. i think he's pretty rad.

7. what i could do without: the prenatals. and the sciatica pain. ive been taking prenatals long before we were pregnant, as one of those crazy things TTCers do to try and prepare their body or help increase chances.. but just now, at 12w. i hate them. they make me gag and it takes me about 10 minutes to eat 1 damn little gummy. i tried the pills, but that was even more of a fail. so ill stick with these gummies and hope that they wont bother me for the 6 months i have to go. (and i can take the gummies. all my levels are great, so no worries from me or the doc!) and the sciatica? well, some people have to hug the toilet all day. i guess i have to stay in bed all day. its worth it but it sure as hell sucks. i feel most bad for keeping my husband awake and needing him so badly. hes had to carry me from the car in to the house, and from our bed to the toilet so i could pee. i havent been to the ER yet, but thats because i refuse. isaiah will say, lets go. were going to the hospital and ill begin to cry harder. ive never left that place with anything solved. and you cant solve sciatica. so i rather be stiff and in pain in the comfort of my own bed than a loud noisy place. you could say i may prefer praying to the porcelain gods vs being on bed rest, but you never know. it could always be worse! 

8. travels: baby put a bump in a few of our travels. we originally were planning a trip in April to visit my family in Germany, but i rather not go across country at 24+w pregnant. so we cancelled that, but are now hoping to go in October! we wont book it until baby is born and we know more about how baby is doing and babes personality, but i really hope it works out. i think my mom, isaiah and i can tackle that. my parents first flew with me from Germany to here when i was 3 months old. we are also supposed to go to Atlanta at the end of April for a great aunts 90th birthday, but i'm not sure how i feel about that either. mainly because i dont know the staying arrangements? and im not staying in a hotel room with MIL or sleeping on a floor at 28w. every year in july, we travel to Milwaukee (5 hours by car) for husbands annual conference with his work company. were there for a week, huge concert, 4,000+ employees, speakers, dinners, nights out - the whole shabang. well this year we wont be going because little baby G is due day 2 of the conference! which means poor little babe will be spending quite a few birthdays in Milwaukee. our friends are getting married August 3rd and i estimate the babe to be about a week old or so. dunno what we'll do for that! isaiah also earned a 5 day trip to california August 10th through work, and im afraid we wont be able to go to that since baby will be about 2 weeks old. but for now, were going to chicago at the end of this month for isaiahs central work conference, were planning on Germany in October, and a cruise in Feb of 2014. i cant wait for family vacations. oh! and we booked a babymoon! were going to Florida next month for a week :)

Randoms: i've had 7 massages in the last 6 weeks. my first prenatal massage was at 6 weeks preggo. isaiah loves pinterest and has dedicated his secret boards to baby. hes on a mission to not gain weight with me so hes been working out more and resisting the urge to eat whatever craving i must eat. i plan to breastfeed. i just got the OK to swim and exercise lightly, i really wanna get into a pool! im also obsessed with a place called blooma, and im dying to sign up. they do a million things for prenatal yoga, have mom groups, breast feeding panels and even bring your baby to yoga classes! we bought baby wise along with happiest baby on the block. i finished reading happiest baby, now its husbands turn. baby wise is boring. every day i kneel down, look at my dogs and say "say hi to baby!" and they both will come running over to sniff my belly. i signed up for an online pregnancy conference too. its all day this thursday and friday, ways to empower your pregnancy! 

i am so happy to be living my dream. its perfect! 
bring it on, trimester 2! up next: our NT scan, on wednesday! i am nervous. but seriously excited to see babe again. it seems that i turn psycho mom about every 3 weeks so this is happening right on time. 







Wednesday, January 9, 2013

quick write up.

this will be short and quick, but i PROMISE i will be back soon!

we had our first doctors appointment yesterday, operation no ultrasound :(
AND HE COULDNT FIND THE HEARTBEAT ON THE DOPPLER.

it took a good 5-8 minutes of him sitting there, staring at my belly, moving the doppler about.
it probably was closer to 5 but i thought time stopped. i couldnt see isaiah because the doctor was in the way and i resorted to i closing my eyes for a little prayer. when i opened them the doctor asked me if i had a tilted uterus... well sir, funny you ask - because i dont know! so he turned the doppler off, handed it over to me and went down at the end of my feet.
you know where this is going dont you? .... "scoot down please, butt at the end, you can put your feet here" and before we knew it husband was watching this doctor with his hands up in my chach. we turned the doppler back on, as i held it the doctor pushed my uterus up, and there it was. bump bump bump bump. FINALLY! a strong heartbeat of 172bpm. ::whew::

what a relief.

isaiah and i spent the entire day reminiscing about how scary that was. we couldnt take our minds off of how we each felt in that room for those minutes we heard nothing. oh my lanta. never again baby! and how has no one ever told me before that my uterus is tilted? i have had more doctors feel me up, pap smears, procedures and ultrasounds than i could have ever imagined. but this wasnt ever mentioned! good thing i know now.

and im totally rethinking about buying a home doppler... i'd be ultra psycho.

we also chatted about the NT scan - we decided to do it! were paying $900 out of pocket for it, which is a bit steep, but you really cant put a price on a precious bundle like that can ya? 

after trying for 2 years, we both realize that this may be our only child and we want to experience everything that pregnancy has to offer. plus the tips from you all made 100% complete and total sense. thank you for those!

our scan is on wednesday, the 16th at 7:10am. i cant wait to see the little babe again <3 and maybe get a peek at the privates?! oh baby, please cooperate!

since monday, i have pretty much been on bed rest. with the worst sciatic nerve pain of my LIFEEEE.


i cant believe a little baby could be in the wrong spot so soon causing me this much pressure and pain!
i bent down tonight to get sweats out of the bottom drawer in the dresser and it felt like someone slammed a 2x4 across my lower back. then i was unable to walk. and unable to put any pressure on my left foot without it shooting painful tingles up my leg to my buttox/pelvis area. then fell down the stairs because out of nowhere it just struck again. 

its definitely starting to worry me and make me hope none of its affecting baby. trying not to worry before our NT scan on wednesday when we'll be able to see the babe again. 

but God is good and things will be okay! 

right?

Monday, January 7, 2013

i love {love}.

in limbo of writing pregnancy posts {since im behind!} - here is our wedding video!

http://vimeo.com/52959103?action=share

hope you enjoy it as much as we do!
happy monday!
xxo

Friday, January 4, 2013

to do, or not to do?

lets talk about the nuchal translucency screening for a minute. also known as the nuchal fold, or the NT scan. that scary thing.
the NT scan is typically done during the 1st trimester & must be done by 14w, if the mama&papa choose to have it done.
the NT scan checks for down syndrome and other chromosomal abnormalities. its non invasive, has no risks to the baby & is another ultrasound! {you know this mama loves her some ultrasounds!} but really. during the scan, the tech takes the measurement of the clear space at the fold of the babys neck in the back. babies with abnormalities tend to have extra fluid in this area during the 1st trimester, so the ultrasound (and sometimes a blood test from mama) can provide you with that knowledge.

do we want to have it done, or dont we?

- our insurance doesnt cover it. so its $$$$ out of pocket.
- we dont have any reason to believe our child would/will have downs with 0 family history, im only 25, daddy is only 25 and we're both healthy. dads really healthy. and mama's alright when you forget the pcos crap.
- despite the outcome, we are not aborting the baby. no way. not today. not ever. no if ands or buts.
- if the test did come back positive, we'd have the next 6-7 months to prepare in any which way needed.
- if the test came back positive, i might spend the next 6-7 months worrying like hell.
- if the test comes back negative, we can breathe a breath of relief & move on.


we meet with our OB on tuesday the 8th & will be asking him some questions as well. & if we decide to do it, we'll be scheduling it then and having it done within the next week or so i assume. neither isaiah nor i are 100% sure on this one. he says because we wont do anything different, it's okay to forego it. and while i agree on that, something pulls at my heart and says maaaaaybe; just do it. like nike says.

did any other mamas have the NT scan done?!


2o13.

2010/age 23: isaiah & i met :)
2011/age 24: we got engaged!
2012/age 25: we got married!!
2013/age 26: we'll be parents!!!

happy new year!

11wks & baby bumps debut to se7en sushi ultralounge bar, a favorite of mama & daddys :)


the three of us. 2o13 <3

week 11.

i hadnt had an ultrasound since 8w4d and my symptoms were starting to subside. i know i know, getting close to the 2nd trimester, thats normal! i know. but that wasnt enough to calm me down. i had some serious bad gut feeling going on and it was controlling my life. i was having bad days, which meant daddy was having bad days. i couldnt carry on a conversation because i was so consumed with worry and a horrible feeling that baby had stopped growing or something just went wrong. i was a week away from my 12w appt with my OB but i couldnt wait another week like that. seriously. i was a hot mess.
after googling for awhile, i found a place in chicago called peek a belly who does free heartbeat ultrasounds along with other packages such as finding the gender early, getting the heartbeat put into a stuffed teddy etc. lucky me, we'll be in chicago at the end of the month! but unlucky me, that wasnt now and there werent any other locations. so after googling for a few more hours and calling a million places, i found another ultrasound company near us that gave ultrasounds to mom's for reassurance as well as finding out the gender early etc. but no teddy bears :(
& youre probably thinking, why didnt i go to my doctor or the ER? well i didnt go to my doctor because the offices were closed, and when i got my early ultrasound at 8w4d, i had to meet with them twice before being approved for an early ultrasound. not to mention the fact that anything was wrong. i had no cramping, wasnt bleeding, no fever of sorts. i was just worried. that gut feeling.
i didnt go to the ER because there are people with real problems, and i didnt want to pay that kind of money. plus the ER is no guarantee for an ultrasound either. doctors i tell you.
so i emailed them over at enlightened 4d-imaging to see if i qualified and could get in. i got an immediate email back from the owner who was driving to colorado with his son. after 10 minutes & a few emails back and forth - he got me in! thank you jesus!
i was forewarned that this place is full of ultrasound techs, not doctors. so they couldnt give me any medical advice or really talk about their findings. but who did i care. i just needed to hear the heartbeat! id deal with the rest later. and if there was no heartbeat, it didnt take a genius to wonder whats going on. then id cue doctor or the ER.
but i didnt have to worry anymore! heartbeat! 169bpm with little bean just hanging out. when isaiah started speaking, the babe spun around in a million circles, did a thousand somersaults and began to kick like crazy. all is well! we got a disc with 10 great pictures & a pretty sweet bag filled with goodies! God is good :)
& mama no longer has to worry. i promise, thats the last of my insane stress worry moments. maybe?


im addicted to seeing you little babe!!





Your Baby:
  • Is the size of a small lemon or large lime. With a twist! Yeah, we’re done with the bean and nut comparisons and have moved onto fruit. Next stop, small household appliances!
  • Is officially a fetus, and is downright human-baby looking with non-webbed fingers and toes, although s/he needs a lot more cooking and fattening up.
  • Is moving and kicking and dancing and even hiccuping, although you won’t be able to feel the acrobatics for a few more weeks (sometime between weeks 16 and 20).


week 10.

this is the week i no longer see my feet. ALREADY? SERIOUSLY!


i cant believe 6 short weeks ago i looked like this:



week 10 was busy. so many holidays and family to see. we shared the news with everyone we seen, which resulted in most of my cousins saying "i knew something was up" or "youre fat. i could tell you had something to say". lovely family i have. 
but i was so happy to share the news with my grandparents. in person, face to face. my grandma was ecstatic. her 3rd great grandchild! the first 2 are both boys... wonder what lucky number 3 will be! we asked grandma a long time ago to make us a baby blanket incase she wasnt able too for whenever we did have a baby & we got it over the holidays. what good timing! 
after driving 4 hours to my cabin & another 4 back home for christmas with my dads side of the family, we made everyone else come to us on christmas. which was my dad and husbands side of the family. nothing big, but it sure was nice to be home!


^^ wtf is that? a prune? ^^


Your Baby:
  • Will officially be considered a fetus by the end of this week.
  • Is over an inch long, maybe by as much as 3/4 of ANOTHER WHOLE INCH. That’s almost TWO INCHES.
  • That’s about the size of a…hmm…*glances frantically around room*…okay, it’s slightly bigger than a really big coat button, but not quite as long as a AA battery. There.
  • Has a heartbeat strong enough to be heard via a Doppler.
  • Most congenital conditions appear before the end of week 10, meaning the most delicate and critical development period is over. You can breathe a sigh of relief over that, but…uh, I wouldn’t go celebrate the milestone with a bathtub of gin, or anything.


week 9.

remember how i was saying i felt that i was experiencing one symptom a week?

week 9: headaches. oh the headaches.

i think 5/7 mornings i woke up with a headache already pounding on my head. no vomiting though! however at that point of time, i may have preferred the vomiting. i only took 2 tylenol through out the entire week, because not only do i HATE pills, i'm terribly afraid of doing something wrong to the babe. we've spent too much $ and worked too hard to get pregnant, and i am NOT crushing this dream with something silly. which probably sounds silly to anyone else, but TTC and infertility made me crazy. the proof is now.





Your Baby:
  • Is about the size of a grape, or perhaps a cocktail olive, the kind that’s marinated in vermouth and stuffed with blue cheese.
  • (Is not marinated in vermouth or stuffed with blue cheese.)
  • Has fingers and toes and eyelids and ears.
  • External boy and girl-parts are present, but won’t be really distinguishable for another couple weeks.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

i'm going to be a mommy!



.... but ya'll ready knew that ;)
since i published my (what was secret) blog posts down below!

















this is a DREAM come true!
oh baby, i love you so.


xxo




8w4d.

*originally written december 14th*

baby baby!

daddy and i had another doctors appointment this week. ultrasound #2 :)




we got to hear your heart beat! we thought seeing your heart flicker at our mid 5 week ultrasound was wonderful, but HEARING it?! my oh my. a whopping 174bpm. so fast. so so fast. your daddy asked the ultrasound tech multiple times if he could hear your heart beat again :) i think we should be able to get a little snippet of the audio. id bring it to build a bear and put it in a teddy, so we could hear it a million times over and let you hear how fast it was. it pulsed so strong. didnt look much bigger than your head ;) but then again you are only about the size of a kidney bean or raspberry this week. you are about 3/4 of an inch big and you squirmed for a quick second, just enough to show us your kicking legs :) the rest of the ultrasound you were spent reclining back in the wee low corner of my uterus just loungin' against the wall. adorbs. we love you mucho.




i think i am experiencing symptoms 1 by 1.
week 4 - sore boobs. week 5 - major hunger. week 6 - exhaustion. week 7 - not sleeping.
week 8 seems to be my week of vomiting. it started out being in the evening and after awhile i was beginning to wonder if it had anything to do with my prenatals? so i took them the next morning instead of evening, and threw them up within 20 minutes later. but how weird! ive been taking the same prenatals since before being pregnant & just now in week 8 they are making me sick. however i did throw up some other stuff as well. cereal, juice. bluch. luckily, it only lasted monday thru friday and i was puke free over the weekend!

week 8 highlights:
  • Is about the size of a gummy bear or kidney bean, and dear LORD I promise to be done with the bean comparisons soon, because it is all entirely too precious.
  • Is extremely jointy, with fingers and toes and elbows and knees that s/he can bend and wiggle.
  • Almost doesn’t have a tail anymore.
until next time baby!
3 more weeks until the 'safe zone' and until we see you again!

7w6d.

*originally written december 8th*

we are borderline of 8 weeks! {happy dance}

let me just start off by saying little babe, you are the size of a blueberry. but you make momma as hungry as a hippo. which is pretty annoying; i am often hungry, yet nothing sounds delicious. i rather have major cravings so i know what i want to eat? thats easier right?!


at the beginning of this week, you were about 4-5 millimeters long. but at the end of this week, you've grown to half an inch! 

momma went to the doctors again this week on wednesday. for some dumb reason this new clinic made me schedule a "consult" with a doctor because i wanted another ultrasound before 12 weeks. even though our RE that got us pregnant, Dr. C called and said he wants me in again 2-3 weeks from my last ultrasound. 
we toured the hospital, and its great. theyre even starting water births in january! besides the point i know. so the hospital has a wonderful birthing center with great perks, and we can get there in under 10 minutes from our house when need be. i chose Dr. W to be my doctor through out the rest of the pregnancy, and he is also great. I know him from my past, i havent seen him in years but even Dr. C said hes one of the best in that area. 
however, i've been to this new doctors office 3x already and i havent seen Dr. W. i am so annoyed. i am such a doctor snob and i hate waiting. hate being told 1000 different things. last time, i waited 2 hours to pee in a cup. even though they already had my ultrasound from Dr. C in their hands, they needed to know i was pregnant. FOR SERIOUS? after i drank cups gallons of water, i was able to pee. bringing my cup to the lab in the back, the lab lady said i needed my blood drawn too! WHY OH WHY couldnt i have done that in the near 2 hours i was waiting to pee? oh my lanta.
then this time, for the "consult" i was there just over an hour. when i seen Dr. H for about 10 minutes to discuss having another ultrasound. just so much waiting! ive never been at a doctors office like that before.
im hoping that when i see Dr. W in january for our 12 week ultrasound, it'll go uphill from there. id hate to leave because like i said, the hospital and birth center is great.
slightly sad (or really sad if were being honest here) that Dr. C cant monitor my pregnancy for the entire 9 months, but he makes miracles! gotta spend his time helping other people become pregnant. 
& im not all that sad. because having an ultrasound at 6 weeks, 9 weeks and 12 weeks calms my nerves. makes me feel better about everything. in the crapshoot of infertility, i take my sighs of relief whenever i can.
now i anxiously wait until we see you again. 6 more days until the next ultrasound!

oh oh! kate middleton is pregnant. royal baby. shes due in july too ;)

6 weeks.

*original post written nov. 26th*

we are halfway there! only 6 more weeks until were in the "safe zone".

i must say though, TODAY WE SAW YOUR LITTLE HEART BEATING! and that reduces the rates of miscarriages to 4%.

you are the size of a little bean or a pea this week, and we saw your heart beat this morning.
pure.bliss <3

after thanksgiving, my doctor called me on friday morning and said he would sneak me in his schedule for monday at 7:15am. oh i am so so thankful for these doctors. they really know how to put a mama at ease. im so happy it was for right away in the morning and i didnt have to pace all day wondering what was going to happen. i was pretty nervous all night! i laid awake and prayed and prayed.

originally, my first ultrasound was going to be for 7 weeks on monday december 3rd. but i got in a week early to make things were on track since i was having some pains :) & i still have next weeks ultrasound scheduled ;) i dont think my doctor remembered that though.

doctor C came in and had mentioned that this early in the pregnancy, we may not see very much but should be able to see the yolk sac and know that the baby is implanted in my uterus vs anywhere else. okay, cool. understandable. {but since i am such a fan of research and always have google at my fingertips, i knew some people can see a heart beat that early} AND WE DID! 113 strong bpm little one.

based on your measurement at todays ultrasound, youre measuring 6w1d. based on my last period in october, im 5w6d. according to what i had guessed for myself, i was 6w today. so i was either behind or ahead by a day, not bad! and you are due july 23rd 2013.

daddy was thrilled to see you. and mama is happy to know youre okay!




also, i am still symptomless. except i burp a lot. oh, im SUPER itchy too. i just learned thats a pregnancy symptom. its kind of scary, but i guess you are just being a good baby already :) this mama is lucky. they also say many women will start experiencing more symptoms and MS around 6 weeks. :::knock on wood::: but its okay little baby. you will be worth every symptom that comes.

6 week highlights:
Your baby:
  • Has tripled or even quadrupled in size and is now three or four entire millimeters long! Godzilla baby!
  • Is working on growing a nose, some ears and a mouth.
  • Is also growing flappy little leg and arm buds.
  • Has a heartbeat that can be seen on an ultrasound — 100 to 160 beats per minute.

thanksgiving day.

*original post written november 22nd*

hiiii bebe.

you give mama a heart attack sometimes! we had some scary pain with you thanksgiving morning so i called our doctors office and left a voicemail on the nurse line. lucky me, our doctors office is so great and to my surprise a nurse called me back within 5 minutes! after talking to her, she calmed me down enough so i was able to get through thanksgiving and proceed with telling your grandparents our news!

your daddy told his mama before dropping her off at the airport. because your grandpa passed away 3 months ago (2 days before our wedding), grandma has been staying busy and went off to see other family members of ours for the holidays. grandma ellen asked us what we wanted for christmas a while back, so your daddy made a card. {and let me tell you, it was just so cute watching him walk around archivers trying to find the right supplies!}


needless to say, she got it right away without opening the rest of the card! and squealed. cue ecstatic grandma! yay!

next up was my dad, your grandpa gregg. this one we were a little nervous about, because he has a rather LARGE mouth {and were trying to keep this somewhat quiet until were in the safe zone}. but there was no way we could keep it quiet until christmas because before thanksgiving began, he was talking about bringing over my favorite wine along with a meat & cheese tray. i love all three of those things. if i were to deny each and every one, your grandpa would have guessed before we got to share! and sure enough, not even half hour into him being here he was convincing me to try some of the deli meat. i cant have deli meat! {and oh its the worst. i really miss the option of having jimmy johns!}



before dinner, we told him we had a present for him. first he pulled out his green bay packer pullover that i borrowed forever ago and he kept asking for it back. so he laughed and thought that was it. then he pulled out a disc of our wedding video and our father daughter dance. so he thought that was it. then realized there was one more thing. he pulled out the frame and within seconds looked up at DH & i, tears in his eyes. stood back and said NO WAY. took another step back, NO WAY!! took another step back, REALLY??? each time tears filling his eyes more and more. then i believed he hugged for an hour. literally. 

my mom (your oma) we told over the phone on november 12th, 2 days after we found out. she just moved back to texas so that eliminated the in person excitement. but shes thrilled too!

you are so loved. and we are so lucky to have you.
happy thanksgiving little gobbler.

5w3d.

*written nov 21st*

baby baby. 
you are freaking me out!
at 4weeks, i had symptoms goin on the regular. you were waking me up exactly every hour and a half during the night to pee and also waking me up about 8am every morning starvin marvin. sore boobs, i had that too. pretty much one of the first things i noticed, because i never was a girl who had sore achy boobs during their period. 
so here we are at 5 weeks, and i feel GREAT. not a single symptom around. the ones i had experienced at 4 weeks are out the window. so while i "feel" great, my mind is racing one million thoughts and fears per second hoping that you are okay and still growin around inside.

there is one thing. THE BLOAT. oh the bloat. i am reppin the full bloat all day long. and it gradually gets worse into the night. i have a hard time being in anything but leggings or dresses, this is not a sexy thing. your poor dad when he gets home in the late evenings.


see below: 5 week pregnant mama lookin 5 months pregnant. my face says it all. YIKES.

our first ultrasound is in 10 days and we will be exactly 7 weeks. theres a chance we'll hear your heartbeat, WHICH IS SO EXCITING! but i am really just anxious to know that you are still in my belly doin everything youre supposed to be doin. and then we'll move on to the fun pictures with all the things that this mama doesnt wanna forget!

for now, its one day at a time. 5 week milestones:

  • Is about the size of a sesame seed.
  • Looks more like a tadpole than a human-variety baby.
  • Making developmental leaps and bounds by the hour like a damned GENIUS CHILD.

grow baby grow!

4w1d.


well baby, you are officially in there!

measuring at just 4 weeks:
  • Implanted snugly in the rich lining of your delicious uterus.
  • Still less than a millimeter long.
  • Seriously, a MILLIMETER. Go pull out a ruler and wrap your mind around that.
  • I will wait.
  • Okay, that little millimeter is growing three different cell layers already — the ectoderm, endoderm and mesoderm.
  • In case you FOR SOME REASON don’t remember high school biology class (shame!), those are the earliest beginning of your baby’s nervous system, hair, skin, gastrointestinal tract, pancreas, liver, thyroid, skeleton, blood system, connective tissue, urogenital system and muscles. Oh, IS THAT ALL?

we got our faint bfp at 10dpo. thats pretty early! 
at 14dpo (11/13), i went in to the doctor for my first hcg beta = 238!
at 16dpo (11/15), i went in for my second beta. they were hoping to see it up by 80%... = 612!

IT MORE THAN DOUBLED. woo who! keep on keepin on baby.

i also peed on my first FRER on 11/11 instead of sticking to the wondfos. i was so afraid to do this because the pink dye tests can be so sensitive, but i had to know  before calling the doctor! up next on monday morning - peeing on the digital!

and because i told you i had an addiction of wondfos...




i feel so blessed. so happy. so surprised. 
i am in awe.