Tuesday, February 26, 2013

sleep woes.

im laying here at 12:28am, unable to sleep as hubby's in lala land next to me.

i can't help but think, "gee. i really wish the babe was around so i could be occupied with something".
then i think "holyshitballs, before i know it i won't be laying here awake without a worry because what's the big deal about being up late when you can sleep in until whenever?!"

sleep is my favorite thing in the world. ill skip anything for a nice fat nap if im tired. {does this make me a bad person? i hope not.}

i know when baby comes, he'll be my new favorite thing in the world.

however. i can't help but wonder & be afraid a little bit. i really hope i learn how to live without sleep & avoid the experience of post partum depression. that'd make me feel all sorts of awful.

just before getting pregnant, i had really begun to believe that i wouldn't ever become pregnant. that it just wasn't in my cards. maybe i wasn't meant to be a mom after all.

but that's just silly. because im pregnant!
we've all heard it before. God has his own timing. im so grateful for that big man upstairs. he's always known my heart.

& now i get to spend my time laying awake as i worry about first time mom things. maybe even second time mom things?

do i let the baby sleep as long as he wants? do i wake him up every 2 hours & latch him on to the boob? every 4 hours? do i try to create a sleep schedule? do i wanna pump & store milk so husband can enjoy feeding him too?

it's an intimidating business. kind of scary.

but i waited my whole life for this!!

1 comment:

  1. I know what you mean, sleep is my favorite thing too!! It makes me sad if I have to go a full weekend without a chance to sleep in or nap! :) I don't have any advice since I've never had a baby but I'm sure you'll know the right thing to do once he gets here. :)