Thursday, April 25, 2013

join the movement : national infertility awareness week






national infertility awareness week. well thats something that hits close to home, weighs heavy on my heart.


though yes, i am currently 27 weeks pregnant, infertility is something I know, something I am, something that's shaped me.


i'll never forget the day, almost 7 years ago, that i was told about the complications and troubles id have when trying to conceive. 
it was that same day, at age 19, my doctor was dead set on having me go through a hysterectomy. um. what? 'scuse me?

I'm forever thankful for the rage my dad expressed to my doctor that afternoon. he was my biggest advocate. its funny to remember that just an hour before, i was ridiculously embarrassed to have my dad with me, to see that the only man sitting in the waiting room at the gyno, was my dad. little did i know id soon be thankful to have my dad sitting out there, waiting for me.


even though I was just 19, he knew how much it meant to me to become a mother. he knew it was everything I ever wanted. and my mother being my mother, she knew as well. 

i used to tell my dad how i wasn't waiting for a husband or a man to fall in love with to give me a child. "don't be surprised if I have a baby out of wed lock" i'd say over and over. 
i wanted to be a mother more than a wife, to have a child more than a husband.

{funny how things work. i never thought id be married. and slowly began to think i'd never get pregnant. then bing bamn boom. got myself a husband AND a pregnancy! they say to make God laugh, you tell him your plans. i feel so blessed, so happy and wouldn't change this life for anything!}

it's been since that same day in the doctors office that I've been determined to overcome infertility, and just for one moment, say "kiss my ass you mean mean thing".

being pregnant now doesn't take away from infertility. it does not make me forget. and it does not make me live without fear of future possibilities.

as we've prepared for baby G, i often think ahead about another child. especially during the time that we've spent thinking about, registering for and purchasing his gear. i immediately jump to the thought of "well how will this stroller work with a second child?" "what would my dad use as a carseat if we have another?" "should we go with a convertible crib for him now, and buy an entire new one for the second?!" or.... ?

obviously, a second child isnt guaranteed. but do i hope for a second child? you betcha. do i want to experience another pregnancy? absolutely. a second and then some.


you hear many many stories about ladies struggling to become pregnant with their first and being able to get pregnant on their own naturally with their second. even vice versa. however, i have no idea what my future holds. i cant tell you or anyone else how {easy} or {hard} getting pregnant may be for me another time. 


will i face infertility again?


maybe. 

maybe not.

but i have already faced it once. 

and thats enough to change a person forever.





if you dont believe in miracles, perhaps you've forgotten that you are one.
<3

8 comments:

  1. Love this post, Sarah!! Baby G really is a miracle baby, but I really think that there are more miracles in your future as well.

    This part made me laugh: "don't be surprised if I have a baby out of wed lock"

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  2. So happy that your prayers were answered. :)

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  3. I love this post! You're such a strong woman and I admire you so much. I know that somehow, someway, Baby G will be a big brother. You and Isaiah are going to be such amazing parents and you deserve to give the love you have to more than one child. I can't wait for that day when you post Baby G in his big brother shirt, announcing your second baby. Love ya girl! <3

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  4. Thanks for posting this! I am still over here struggling and have given up trying. I guess it will happen when and if it's supposed to happen.

    So happy for you and your pregnancy! You deserve it girl!

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  5. love that pic of the arrow and quote-simply beautiful!
    xo, d

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  6. My sister-in-law struggled with fertility issues, and they were just about to give up and adopt (not that adopting wouldn't have also been amazing) when they found out they were pregnant! My niece is now 2, and she is expecting her 2nd. I've witnessed how hard it was on her, and you're so strong for going through this!!

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  7. It's been a rough week for us on the infertility front. I'm especially appreciating all the awareness brought to it this week. So happy you get to experience motherhood.

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  8. So funny that you told your dad you'd likely have a baby out of wedlock. I love it.

    As always, blessings on your pregnancy!

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