Wednesday, April 23, 2014
and so we try again.
this week is National Infertility Awareness Week, or also seen around as NIAW.
its a week near and dear to my heart.
sweet Emily over at Hope Squared is opening up her blog to me.
im opening up about infertility. im advocating for our 'disease'.
im also telling you, that, here we are. looking infertility in the eye again.
resolve to know more.
+ 1 in 8 women struggle with infertility
+ infertility affects about 10% of the population
+ infertility can be diagnosed for both women AND men
+ ONLY 15 states have passed laws requiring insurance to cover some level of infertility treatment. minnesota is not one of them.
+ infertility treatments can make one go bat shit crazy.
this year i blog about it with an 8 month old on the floor while he repeatedly dumps out his easter basket. last year i blogged for 2013's NIAW with a baby in my belly. though i have no blog posts for the 3 years before that, i have scars and memories of pain.
since the moment i was cleared from my dr at 6 weeks post partum on 9.13.13, we began trying for another baby.
its now 4.21.14. we have had 7 months of no luck. on top of our unlucky years before having Crue.
when we were in florida, we had some VERY rude pervy man in the lobby of our hotel who kept chatting with isaiah and i as we looked around after checking. i don't know how it happened but some words came out of his mouth asking me how many kids i have, as isaiah was holding C - and i said "one, thats my kid" as i pointed over to my husband with my son. some more words went by, perhaps about more children? i don't even remember. but what i remember is that next he mentioned something about having sex. how making kids is so much fun. 1st: EXCUSE ME? 2nd: YOU DONT KNOW MY LIFE. 3rd: i am infertile. C was not a result of "having fun". 4th: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU. i won't ever forget that man or those words. like, what?
crue is our joy. he is our miracle. and of course he was well worth every needle, every ultrasound, every doctor visit, tear and struggle. more worth it than i could tell anyone.
i love that i get to play with him every day. he's a great distraction from infertility. because even though we have him? infertility is still a part of my life. our reality.
isaiah and i have been discussing how long we want to try on our own. how long do we wait for a period, how many ovulation kits we want to keep buying, how many mornings i'll take my temperature before going to get crue. and.
when we want to throw in the towel and back to our RE.
when enough is enough, if you will.
right now? we take it day by day.
but the truth is,
it still stings.
thank you Resolve for 25 years of your support.
thank you Emily for opening your blog to me during such an important week <3
read here about 25 ways you can support the movement.