Tuesday, June 10, 2014
PCOS after baby
if you know me in person, and know that i have PCOS, i am begging you to not be one of those who say "but maybe having crue fixed it!" and go on to tell me about all of those women you know who magically got pregnant with another child after struggling with the first.
we struggled to have C. and we struggle to have another.
i'm not even sure if its possible, but it seems that my PCOS is worse post-baby.
maybe the reason i think that is because i weigh much more now than i did pre-baby.
PCOS is a nice way of saying that my ovaries don't produce enough hormones for my eggs to mature. losing weight a constant struggle because it causes my hormones to build up and become insulin resistant, having all of the sugars and glucose build up in my bloodstream. then you somehow build up a hormone that MEN have, which puts the weight gain right in your stomach. sounds sexy huh?
i was fluctuating around 131-133 pounds before starting the mess of infertility.
when i was put on metformin, i gained 10-15lbs QUICK. and with all of the other meds, the pounds weren't going anywhere.
i stopped eating a lot of carbs, i opted out of white rice, pasta or bread when i could, ditched the pop and tried to keep my head high during our days of TTC.
i was 143 the day we(i) got pregnant.
i was 174 the day i delivered C.
the day we got home, i checked myself, weighing in at 171.
i STILL weigh A LOT.
162 to be exact.
and thats after four weeks of working out every day and drinking shakeology.
i've had about 3 glasses of wine in the last 10 months since having a baby. i've given up pop. I EVEN GAVE UP CARIBOU! woof. i've been working out burning 200+ calories a day and using my fitbit to track steps & miles. im learning about nutrition, cutting out sugars & some carbs again. i've lost 4 pounds.
and IT. IS. HARD.
if you know me, carbs alone are my best friend.
waffles for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch, pasta for dinner. mashed potatoes, warm dinner rolls? these things I LOVE.
but i love being pregnant more.
i love being a mom, more.
hopefully you also know that i suck at cooking.
along with not being able to touch chicken or raw meat.
it has been 10 months since having a baby.
and i am hardly down 10 pounds.
my baby almost weighed 8!
my placenta i am sure weighed 2.
so theres that.
i meet with my OB later this month where i am going to start birth control for one month. this is because our fertility specialist will suggest one month of BC to re-start my system anyways before moving on to other fertility meds. i did this same thing before having C. and if you ask me, i rather start the progress sooner than later. so i'm going to start the BC from my OB rather than waiting to get in with our RE for him to prescribe it. infertility doctors are popular, busy people. i'll chat with my OB about the metformin too, though im not sure where that'll take us. but then you know, theres increasing my chance on MORE weight gain. and we all know its just generally "easier" to have a baby with your weight in check.
i had my first post partum cycle 4/20-4/27 and i was thrilled!!! to see that it had came on its own, and was only 7 days long. i was charting and taking OPK's with baby dancing to see if i could do this on our own.
then may came.
and my OPK's were positive after positive. sometimes that can mean you're pregnant, but every pregnancy test was negative.
my 2nd cycle started late, giving me a 36 day cycle. my positive OPK's kept coming. i am pretty sure this is because of the chemical imbalance going on in my body, from none other than the famous PCOS. now im on CD15, and STILL BLEEDING. so taking another step isn't exactly possible when aunt flow is in town. that bitch.
so as it turns out,
my pcos did not go away because i had a baby.
who knew that we spent so much time in life just w a i t i n g ?
thank you PCOS for sucking the fun out of baby making.
and making me a giant beached whale.
this is another roadblock in our journey.
a big one. a hard one to climb.
though i am confident that this too shall pass.