Monday, August 25, 2014

dear me.



its late on a sunday night.
so late that i suppose its technically very early on a monday morning.

both of my boys are sleeping, right next to me in the very same bed actually and i am up writing about infertility.

that word use to really define me.

it kind of hit me tonight that we are just two weeks short of when i had my 6 week post partum appointment a year ago. you know, the appointment where they tell you that things are should be working properly again and you're free to, ahem, spin on the weenie, or ah, baby dance if you will.

which brings me to my point. tonight i realized that were almost at the one year mark since we've been trying to have another baby.

could that be why it hurts so bad when others jokingly say "HA. HA! i bet you don't want another one of those any time soon!" because yes you fool, we actually would love to have another one. tomorrow. 3 months ago. 9 months ago. we long to have another one.

the year(s) we tried to have a first, of trying to have crue - they were long. 
so long.
exhausting.
depressing.
i was a hot mess who always felt really sad, really alone and super guilty.

and now?
this past year of trying, surely its had its moments where I've felt really bummed out and have even allowed those feelings of guilt, sadness and shame to come back creeping on my door, but wow.

having Crue has just totally changed my life and the aspect of how i look at things.

i am so, so, SO blessed and thankful to have this baby boy that calls me mom. i have dreamt of him longer than i can remember.

i am obsessed with this life.

i must remember that when i am feeling down and all boohoo, 'why can't i have a baby in my tummy again?'

because Crue totally rocks my world. 
i love him with my whole being.

i AM a MOMMY! 

Friday, August 22, 2014

crue: 12 M0NTHS!




doctor appointment: 8.6.14, 4 days after he turned 1 - our ped walked in to the room and was like "WHOA! he's already walking!" but at our 9 month appt she said he would be walking by 10 months, and he started walking the weekend after that appointment… crue also had sort of a crooked or cleft butt crack when he was born that she wanted to keep a close eye but we always have to remind her to check it out… basically i just really wish she would take note of certain things and peek on them before going in to see her patients. all in all he is a healthy, strong, happy boy! he doesn't have his two front teeth yet which is kind of odd, so our ped said if they aren't here in 6 months, get an x-ray done at the dentist to see where they're at. isaiah thinks he does see 1 of them coming in now so i will wait it out a little bit, just not quite sure i will be waiting until he's 18months to see if he doesn't have any front teeth!





height: 30 3/4in // 50%tile
weight: 19lb 13oz // 25%tile
head: we have this written down on his sheet, but i honestly can not remember the exact measurement. this never jumps out to me like the weight and height do! though it was somewhere in the 14 range. evening out with the rest of him, thankfully ;)




nicknames: crue-shoe, crumanji, crue-bee, C





sleeping: i am pretty sure he will be sleeping in his teepee or a big boy bed before he ever sleeps in his crib. thankfully we just upgraded to a king for our anniversary gift and it makes all the difference in the world! he is still sleeping well, seems to be weaning out of his 2nd nap during the late afternoon/early evenings and going to bed about an hour earlier (10pm'ish) than he use to. still sleeping in past 10am. AGAIN we debated on trying out the crib thing with him since he is starting to fall asleep HARD in the bed but because were going on another vacation in november, we just aren't going to mess with things. we prefer to just not bring the pack n play and continue to co-sleep. we'll revisit the thought come thanksgiving-ish!


 


eating: were having a tough time getting this boy to eat meat. every once in a while, he will eat it if we put it in his mouth but not until after he takes it out, observes it and then puts it back in himself. i hope he's getting enough protein because whatever it is, beef, chicken, pork, taco form, spaghetti form… he just finds it and knows. he also eats A LOT of fruit. so i am hoping that when fruit isn't offered as much during our cold winter months he will resume back to eating meat. we never started out with this issue!
his favorite foods are: string cheese, watermelon, strawberries, blueberries, pickles and grapes. it definitely use to be pickles, pasta and bread.




mood: we are so so blessed to have such a happy baby. he has been battling a summer cold a little bit, but it hasn't stopped him from being his usual self!




loves: music! he totally digs watching SYTYCD and dancing along, chasing his puppies, riding in his wagon, splashing in the water, sitting on his new anywhere chair from PBK, going on walks to get the mail (i let him walk by himself instead of being baby worn, going in the stroller or wagon), he loves the independence! also a big fan of playing with his broom and climbing on EVERYTHING.





dislikes: diaper changes and watching daddy leave!




wearing: 6-12 month clothes, size 3 shoes and size 4 honest diapers.





saying: mama, mom, dada, uh oh, up and lamo (our dog lambeau)! makes elephant noises when you ask "what does the elephant say" and says "mmmmmmm" in reply to "what does the cow say"… need to work on the rest of that answer!

photo by eisley's mama @ nicole harnois photography



milestones/whats happening:
- turned ONE! went to the MN zoo (he loved the goats&cows!), got an ice cream sundae out at dinner with a cherry on top. he loved every minute of it!
- had his first nautical birthday party (blog post to come) and was a true trooper despite being woken up early at 8am for a 10 minute photo shoot from a contest he won!
- crue met eisley! her mama blogs over at haus of harnois and we "met" back in 2012 via a forum online when we both fell pregnant. they live in iowa and came to the cities for crues party! my heart is STILL so full and so happy.
- saying "mama" on a whole new level, probably about 100x a day.
- blabbing and 'talking' a lot more - will pause and take breaks in a conversation for you to reply :)
- does A LOT better in the carseat this month!
- MN state fair for his second year! can't believe we went last year when he was 2-3 weeks old, and now were going back with a 1 year old! i have the same NB outfit he wore to the fair in his size now and I'm debating on making him wear it just for that then&now picture ;)
- gunna be with a baby-sitter next month while we attend the doctor appointment.. i think this is the 4th (maybe 5th) time that we've left him with a babysitter!
- went to the new twin cities outlet mall and had to get some oshkosh b'gosh overalls! isaiah and i both had a pair growing up!
- had a day with daddy and went to see the ninja turtle movie.. lucky for dad, C slept!
- started getting his own meals ordered when we're out to eat, true big boy status!
- gave him a fork for the first time ever this past week and he was able to poke his noodles with it! got a few in his mouth and missed a few :) now mama is on the hunt for the perfect set of baby utensils!





mama: i advanced rank and became an emerald beachbody coach! surprisingly lost 2 more lbs (thank you shakeology)! also just ended a 4 month heavy cycle, hoping for a good outcome and starting up with RE appointments next week! emotional doesn't begin to describe. still totally satisfied with being a stay at home mom, but absolutely dreading the winter months to come!





daddy: starting T25 for our vacation in november! can't wait to spend that extra time with the family since he has been working long hard hours lately. thankfully no mandatory work events until christmas season! we also celebrated 2 year wedding anniversary :)





we are so so blessed to be your parents crue! every day you grow bigger, more wise and more wild. we love you from your head to your toes and can not wait to see what the next year brings!
xo



Monday, August 18, 2014

12 month family photos




when i realized that we were going to be in milwaukee just a few weeks before crue turned one, i knew i had to reach out to Jenna and ask if she would take some family photos for us.

i think we may be the 2nd or 3rd(?) family that jenna has ever shot, since weddings are her main jam - but i am oh so thankful that she said yes and gifted us these beautiful memories! i am pretty sure i know when we will be taking our yearly photos from now on ;)

our night was nothing short of perfect… (except that i didn't have a stand for the cake smash)
i want to hang every single one all over my house, so sorry not sorry for the picture overload!


all photos copyright by Jenna Leigh Photography


 





 


















 




it feels like yesterday we were just trying to take his newborn photos. he was a teeny squishy sleepy babe who could care less about taking pictures because he had better things to do… not much has changed! i can't wait to see where the next year takes us!



see past photos here:
newborn / rosy cheeks
three months family / sophia mayrhofer
six months / rosy cheeks
nine months family / sophia mayrhofer
cake smash / jenna leigh





Thursday, August 14, 2014

a 1st taste of cake.




when we got engaged 3 years ago, i was on the hunt for wedding photographers and i came across Jenna Leigh. i became in love with her photos right then and there. you can imagine my disappointment when i learned that she was already booked for our wedding date. 
unfortunately, jenna lives in Wisconsin - a good 6-7 hours away from me. :( 
fortunately, isaiah's work company has their annual meeting where Jenna lives every July! even though weddings are her specialty, i had to ask if she would shoot our family for Crue's 12 month session.

after stalking many blog posts, instagram photos and Facebook chats we finally got to meet and frolic in the sunset. 
it was nothing sort of dreamy.

C was super dainty with his cake and quite confused at first. with just his little fingers he kept swiping the frosting back and forth, back and forth. 





















































photos by: Jenna Leigh
smash cake: Itz My Party