Thursday, August 7, 2014

we co-sleep.

we co-sleep.

actually? 
its more than that.

were kind of in love with co-sleeping.

we didn't always co-sleep.

in fact, in the beginning - i thought i would never co-sleep….


when i was pregnant, there weren't many things that i was "against" or said "ill never try that…". you didn't hear me say "ill never give my baby formula", "ill never put my kid on a leash"or "he'll never try sugary cereal, like a fruit loop" …. because i didn't know that. i didn't know any of those things. what i DID KNOW, is that "never say never" is a pretty good motto to go by. (props to whoever came up with that?)! the reality is that its just easier to breathe without pressure or expectations, and i definitely learned that with my birth plan and how my birth actually went.

we brought crue home from the hospital, and would wake him up in the middle of the night to nurse. that only lasted for 3 nights. each nursing session, he would quickly pop off and fall asleep. i would so badly want to fall asleep myself, but i had this insane OCD fear that just wouldn't let me. i could never fall asleep or doze off while holding on to this itty bitty newborn. so, i'd wake up my husband and get help putting C back into his mamaroo. then go back to sleep. on my own. next to isaiah.

crue was a great sleeper. within the first week home, we actually stopped waking him up and he immediately slept 8-10 hours through the night. now those 8-10 have turned into 10-12 hours. as every new mom, i had a fear of transitioning him. our first hurdle was going to be getting him out of the swaddle. man oh man did our baby boy love to be swaddled! TIGHT! but you know what? crue weaned himself off of that, no problem. then we wanted to wean him out of the mamaroo. we started slowing the motion down little by little, and before we knew it - he transitioned himself out of that too! no problem. we were in the RnP smooth as can be. then C started to roll over and the RnP was no longer a possibility. so what now? the PnP or the crib! WHAAAT! YIKES!

needless to say, crue did not transition himself to the PnP or the crib. we tried bringing both of them into our room and laid him in there at night after his routine. we tried isaiahs side of the bed where he started out as a newborn due to my c-section. we tried my side of the bed. we tried putting a shirt next to him that was isaiahs. a shirt of mine. a shirt we poured breast milk over. we tilted a part of the mattress. we laid him down with a bottle. without a bottle. a few nights, he did fall asleep. but then woke up crying soon after. we had neverrrrr been introduced to a baby waking in the middle of the night so we were simply clueless. totally running out of ideas.

unfortunately, soon after our first week of trying this transition at home - we had a work trip in chicago where we were hotel living for a 6 nights. we brought the PnP with us and crue fought us to the core that first night. being in a hotel, we quickly became terrified of him waking up others or someone hearing our baby cry all night long. we brought him into bed with us. he slept all night again.

when we got home from chicago we tried the crib, wasn't working. brought him in to the doctor and found out he had an ear infection. brought him back into bed with us - and well, we haven't really looked back since!

there have been a few nights here and there that we have tried the crib again, but my son is not a fan. he cries beyond measure. he loves being in his nursery, and i have even tried (on multiple occasions) to set him in the crib while i put away clothes, sit on the floor right next to him, read books, put him in there with a toy, lay him down with a bottle - and he will scream before you can even set him down.

one afternoon he fell asleep on my chest (like he has every afternoon for the 365 days), so i thought OK. lets try this crib thing and start out with nap time. i couldn't even lay him down without him waking up. another afternoon i let him cry in his crib for 26 minutes before i went back in to get him. 

i just simply can not let my baby cry that hard for that long.

AND THATS OK!

currently, we have been co-sleeping for 6 months almost to the day. my husband sleeps well, i sleep well, and - its obvious crue sleeps well. 

AND THATS OK TOO!

i think we should live more along the terms of 'never say never', because every family is different. its important not to let others make you feel guilty, or make you feel like you are doing something wrong just because you are doing something different. motherhood is not a competition. 

i love being waking up in the middle of the night and being able to check on crue with the blink of an eye. i love feeling his feet rest on my back at 2am. and id be lying if i didn't say that i am ridiculously hooked on waking up in the mornings to a huge smile on his face.

we co-sleep. that works for us. its working for our family.

AND THATS OK!

no boy calls their mom on their first night of college and says "mom… can you come over? i can't sleep"




right?

13 comments:

  1. You are so right. You have to do what works for you. I say as long as everyone is happy and healthy that's all that matters. There are as many ways to raise children as there are mothers!

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  2. You have to do what's right for you and your sweet little family. Forget what anyone else says!
    I'm a little jealous that he sleeps with you. H only wants to play if we put him in bed with us.

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  3. Yes! Definitely do what works for you! We used to co-sleep and I thought Noelle would never sleep in her crib but she now sleeps in her crib for 12 hours a night! We did the progressive waiting approach and we just added more intervals, so we planned to check in on her in 1, 3, 5, 7, and 10 minutes but on night one, she didn't make it to 7, night two she didn't make it to 5, and night three we didn't need to go in at all... silence. I was absolutely shocked bc she reacted the same way as Crue, a snuggle bug in bed and hating on the crib. Just something to think about if it stops working for you. I loved co-sleeping but it got to the point where I needed to go to bed with her at 8 and then she took a nose dive off the bed, so we knew the crib was the best place for that nut!

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  4. We are in a similar situation. I always said never about sharing my bed. When our little girl started rolling over, the crib stopped working for us. I refuse to let her cry (at this point). It doesn't work for us as well as I'd like. She needs to nurse constantly. She's fine in our bed until I come in... Once she knows I'm there, she wants the boob... All. Night. Long. Oddly, I'm more rested than I would be waking up to cries all night long. I still love the cuddles. I'm hoping getting her to her own space happens naturally at some point. Love this post. I always feel the need to apologize when I tell people she sleeps with us. I feel like I'm being judged as a parent AND a wife. But she's happy and my husband and I still have our time.

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  5. 4 years later and we are still co sleeping lol he will actually now sleep in his own bed but I cannot sleep and I worry all night so its just easier and I am still laughing at your last sentence. Do what works we both sleep 10-12 hours :) Happy mom happy kid

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  6. You have to do what works for you and your family. I'm a firm believer in never say never - you never know what will happen in any given situation until you're in it. If co-sleeping works - that's great! And you'll know when to stop it too. In the meantime, enjoy that previous little boy - they grow up too fast! This from the mom of a "little" boy who starts middle school next week. I don't know how that's possible - he was just starting kindergarten last year ...

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  7. This is great! I haven't slept with me kids since they were newborns and they would fall asleep on me, or the occasional bad dream now….but I would never judge anyone for what works for them. Sounds like you are all happy and this works for you all, so isn't that all that counts?

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  8. We are accidental co-sleepers over here. I never set out to do it, but Ashford is much harder to get to sleep and keep asleep than Azalea ever was. I actually think it's more common that society lets on. I know a lot of moms who do it because it's the only way they can get any sleep. And like you said, there WILL come a day where they won't have any interest is doing it anymore :)

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  9. Sarah…you are so right. So many of us are quick with the "i'll never do thats" but you really don't know what is going to work best until you're in the situation. And its about making adjustments and finding what works for you.

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  10. Amen sister. Do what works for you. And, props to you and your arrangement. I wish I had the patience to have M sleep with us, but I don't. Annnnd, he's the most wiggly sleeper in the world. Maybe he'd have a better shot a sleeping with me if he just stopped moving around for 2.5 seconds. :)

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  11. I'm so glad that you have found something that works for your family! :) People get so judgey!! I was just telling Jake the other day that as happy as I am that Weston sleeps so well in his crib, I sometimes wish we could snuggle and nap together! HAHAHA

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  12. We co sleep too. I feel so guilty about it. We started for the same reason of late night nursing sessions. We used a cosleeper till Jack was 5 months old. I liked having him in our room with us. Now that he is in the crib I find myself nursing and the 2 of us falling asleep together. I think the more he sleeps through the night he will end up in his crib more but I know I will miss him terribly when that happens.

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