Wednesday, December 17, 2014

embarrassing questions during pregnancy!

i don’t know what it is about doctors, but they are intimidating. it does not matter how much they have seen from you (or others) because the thought of asking them some questions can still be embarrassing. 

before i became pregnant, i had been with my OB for YEARS (thanks mother nature for introducing periods on my 10th birthday) so I felt like I had it all down with him. i was comfortable, he was nice, i had ultrasounds during aunt flo’s visit (which is always awkward) and the list goes on.
then you become face to face with your doctor in that tiny stale room and you rather guess what 80s show it came out of rather than ask him a question about your pregnancy. you know what im talking about, yes?

1. WHY IS MY POOP AN ELECTRIFYING NEON GREEN. why is it so embarrassing to talk about poop? EVERY BODY POOPS! i think i need that book more than my child does. turns out, it could be from your prenatals. Normal Schmomal.

2. WILL MY AREOLAS EVER GO BACK TO HOW THEY WERE? were they once pink and now theyre a darker brown or even black? were they once small and now they have you comparing them to the chocolate chip cookies you sneak after your kids are in bed? i don’t know ya’ll, i don’t know! ASK YOUR DOCTOR! i guess depending on his answer, he is either the God of OB’s or a liar. time will tell!

3. AM I GOING TO SMELL FOREVER? i am here to tell you, that the answer is no ☺ i remember my … erm, “downstairs” smelling a whole new smell of smells when i was pregnant and i was super concerned. and super embarrassed! thankfully, it all did go away – once my hormones leveled out. sometimes it can be a bacteria infection, so for the sake of you & your babe, don’t be afraid to ask!

4. WHAT IF I POOP DURING LABOR! what if?! thousands of women have done it before you, and thousands of women will have done it after you. i am pretty sure these doctors don’t think anything of it. rejoice! it means you are doing your job and you are doing it well. you keep pushing and poop if you may!

5. WHY AM I SO GASSY? flatulence. ah. the joys of pregnancy. again, it is normal! i do know that sometimes it can become quite painful, so don’t hesitate to ask for some possible relief options! (plus, I always tell myself that my OB is a male, and every body knows men fart… the question is already less embarrassing!)

6. DO MY NIPPLES REALLY ITCH ALL THE TIME, OR AM I GOING CRAZY? No Mam. refer to #2. Everything is growing and stretching! don’t be embarrassed to itch that nipple in public, because in a few months (if you choose) you’ll be a nursing mom who is constantly feeling those boobs in an attempt to check your fullness. all hail the boobies.

7. I AM A LEAKY FAUCET. HELP! i pee when i sneeze, i pee when i laugh – what gives?! don’t be ashamed of this – because it only gets worse AFTER you pop that baby out! things in our bodies are preparing for labor, so some body parts shift and relax, and then as your baby grows, theyre sitting right on top of your bladder, punching and kicking away. two words: panty liners.

8. LETS TALK ABOUT SEX, BABY. this really shouldn’t be an embarrassing question, at all. if youre anything like me though, it definitely is. i don’t know why? most people have to have sex to get a baby up in their uterus and it’s a normal act of love! perhaps it’s the term “sexual intercourse” that all doctors use which makes me uncomfortable, i have no idea. but lets get down and dirty shall we? decreased sex drive: normal. hi. this is my life. increased sex drive: normal! & plenty of men think pregnant women are HOT! Bow chicka wow wow. hormones are raving. i think this is more common after the first trimester ☺ no, you will NOT hurt your baby! however, if you have had some spotting or bleeding, its best to refrain from sex for a week or until you see your doctor and maybe an ultrasound. don’t be afraid to have sex AFTER your baby either! i wait the recommended 6 weeks as mentioned from my doctor because i don’t intend to mess up my downstairs any worse than child birth can already do so. ease into it. don’t be afraid. it will all get back to normal ☺

9. OH EM GEE. I DREAMT ABOUT MY EX. hey doctor, why am i dreaming about other men? why do I keep dreaming about holding a baby pig in the hospital? hormones. they're all the rage these days! I don’t know what it is about pregnancy, but it totally comes with a package of crazy dreams, to the point where you can orgasm in your sleep! wowzers.

10. I THINK THERE IS BLOOD COMING FROM MY BOOTY. very possible! hemorrhoids can happen both during pregnancy and after. Iive never experienced these so I cant tell you how painful it may be. but there are many relief ideas on Dr. Google! constipation and your baby sitting on certain nerves can lead up to this happening, so if you come across any bumps, irritations or blood when wiping – chat with your doctor! this isn’t abnormal and its nothing caused from anything that you may have done wrong ☺

are you embarrassed to chat with your doctor? what are some questions you hate asking?! … if you have any questions about the mucus plug – that’s my favorite topic! i kid, i kid… or do i?!

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