Monday, May 11, 2015

crue: 21 M0NTHS / the last as an only child.

all i can think about, is how this is his last month as an only child.

HE is doing okay. HE is doing well. awesome really!

many people are asking if he is excited about having a sister/sibling - but truth be told, he doesn't really understand the concept yet i don't believe. sure he knows that sissy is in my belly, sure he loves listening to her on the doppler… but things like her kicking his hand hasn't really stuck with him and i am pretty positive he has no idea a baby that is in my belly is about to come out of my belly.

but me?
i am feeling guilty. i am feeling sad. i am feeling emotional. i am ready for her to stay inside my belly for another 4 months.

i am thrilled to meet her. do NOT get me wrong about that!
i just, i sometimes feel like i am mourning the loss of my baby boy in some sort of way. or maybe i should say just the notion of him being an only child.
our days are so simple. so laid back.
just crue and mama.

im afraid that baby girl will turn his world upside down and he will become angry. or jealous. or depressed.
can toddlers be depressed?

i don't know.
but this month.

this last month as an only child. 21 months old. WE ARE LIVING IT UP.

isaiah and i are trying to do many things with crue, get out on all the weekends and spend a lot of time as a family of 3 making memories.

we went to trucksploration and crue LOVED it. we got to see some army tanks, another firetruck and police car (he has seen both before), a lot of construction trucks, cranes and more. poor boy didn't really understand the concept of leaving one truck to let another child on or go see another one yet so dealing with a small tantrum after every truck was kind of overwhelming but we made it through!

thursdays are our my least favorite day, probably crues favorite. every morning the garbage trucks come by and he FLIES out of bed. he can be in an absolute dead sleep but hears that truck coming and he is at the window before i can even open my eyes. this is usually about 3 hours before he wakes up regularly, so you can imagine he's just a peach until nap time. boyfriend doesn't leave the window until they're out of site.. and if its also a recycling day, thats about an hour! dedication ya'll.

we had our second mothers day together and i loved every minute of it. the weather was cold and rainy, so after brunch we just spent the day lounging around home. a lot more low key than his first mothers day when he began to walk and went to the park for the first time, but ill never forget either one!

lots of dinners and desserts around town. we had ice cream at grand ole' creamery on grand ave which is a huge favorite. just like his mama, crue LOVES dessert. but just like his daddy, ice cream and cookies are his weakness!

last month? i think it was in april, he fell while running and got a huge gash in his forehead. we ended up getting glue stitches and now its finally healing but it looks AWFUL. and i am so sad about it. isaiah swears it'll get better, but i just don't know. it seems like his head has a permanent indent and pink scar. :(

crue is figuring out some more words, though i don't think he's talking as much as some other kids his age that i have witnessed. i'm not sure if he's behind or if its just not his thing yet. we didn't get an 18mo doctors appointment so we will be waiting until he's 2 to figure it out. for now i can tell he's picking up new words and understanding EVERYTHING so i am not too worried. i am hoping that he learns some sentences and more two word phrases here soon though.

he is amazing at sports. still. golf and hockey are his jam. i am pretty sure he could beat tiger woods at a round.

ignore every toy in our house but the hockey stick, the golf club and a ball or two. those will entertain him for hours. i've moved most of his toys up into his room because 90% of them go unplayed with unless they're sports related. kind of nice to free up our living room a bit, but we will only be putting baby gear back in very shortly!

started eating meat again, FINALLY. but only with ranch. not a fan of ketchup or anything else.
insists on eating with adult utensils and forks. won't his use his fingers.
had cereal for the first time in a bowl with milk and fed himself all of it like such a big boy!

has all of his teeth, i think the 2 year molars are working their way in right now.

every night its a kissing war. mommy, daddy, mommy, daddy. MUUUUAHH! it tickles my heart.

naps are about 2-3 hours every day and i am so very thankful for them. we nap together and i am soaking up every moment of mr snuggles!

has spent some nights and naps in his big boy bed, but even more nights and naps in our bed. i am sure that I'm digging myself a huge hole here but i just can not let him go! sniffle.

got another haircut!

had family photos/maternity photos done.

when he laughs really hard, he drools. just like his daddy.

i never want to forget these moments. its crazy how fast time flies.
god has fully surpassed my wildest dreams of being a mother and he could not have given me a better baby, a better boy, to start this journey with.

crue, may you never forget how much you mean to us!

1 comment:

  1. All. The. Tears.
    Your feelings are the same ones I'm dealing with. Exactly. I love our days (for the most part, minus the epic tantrums and whatnot), and while I cannot wait to meet M2, I'm terrified of how the transition from only child to big brother will go.
    We'll get through this. Just keep passing the ice cream. That always seems to help. :)