Monday, July 6, 2015

a birth story : LC

lakely capri


at my 39 week appointment, i had no progress. it wasn't much of a surprise to me because there was nothing going on with my body. not much of any braxton hicks, no loss of any mucus plug and no bloody show. i wasn't uncomfortable and i was feeling really well. 
but that brought us to a decision that had to be made.

what do we want to do?

the entire pregnancy i was really hoping for a VBAC. i loved being in labor with crue, and the c-section recovery kicked my ass like none other. i absolutely knew i didn't want to feel that way ever again. i would rather be in labor for hours than recover from that surgery for a few weeks. no doubt about it. and with two kids? how would i ever make that possible.

i was induced with crue and had him at 42 weeks. with him i lost my mucus plug over a 5 week span and had sat at 3cm 80% for 3 weeks. i just stopped progressing. remembering all of that made it clear to my doctor, isaiah and myself that chances of it happening again are high. 

my body can't get pregnant and it can't deliver babies - but man, it sure can carry them!

so. do we wait it out? do we go past the due date and wait for labor? do we risk labor and then a c-section AFTER the trauma of labor, making recovery harder than a planned c-section? do we want to pass the due date only to have a planned c-section anyway?
we thought. we talked. we prayed. we asked my OB what he would suggest if i was his daughter.
and we made the decision.

we went ahead with a scheduled c-section at 39w6d, hoping that maybe in the next few days i could get labor to start on its own and then re-evaluate.

labor never happened :(
but a baby did!

i wouldn't have minded being overdue again. but i selfishly didn't want to be because we have a few travel plans this summer, and two weeks makes a big difference in a babies age. traveling with a 2 week old vs a 4 week old, a 6 week old vs an 8 week old… you get the idea.
the reason we chose 6.5.15 to schedule our c-section was 1. i wanted my OB to do the surgery. he did my surgery and was there when i was induced with crue, he has been my OB for far too long and we are beyond smitten with him. 2. i wanted to do it on a friday because that allowed me a few more days of having isaiah home for help without missing work. 3. it was a day before i turned 40 weeks, definite full term. 
that was it.

i cried many many many tears leading up to this day.

thursday night, we picked up my mom for her to come over and stay the night with crue. she moved back to MN and stayed with us for a few months earlier in the year, so crue is more than comfortable with her and she knows how everything works in this house. theres no one i trust more. i had never left crue prior to this. my nerves were out of this world.

friday morning, we woke up at 4am, grabbed our bags that had been packed for weeks, kissed our sleeping baby, our only child a goodbye and were off. i made it without bawling. i don't know how, but by some miracle i was doing okay.



we were scheduled to be checked in to the hospital by 5am, and surgery was scheduled for 8am. at the last doctor appointment, we had asked my OB what his favorite coffee was so we could bring him some caribou before the surgery… normally, my doctor doesn't do surgeries on friday and he's in the clinic. because he is on call thursday and thursday night. i told him "DONT BE TIRED. YOU HAVE TO BE AWAKE! I'LL BRING YOU COFFEE!". it was on our way to get coffee that we realized it was national donut day, so we stopped at a small town local bakery and got donuts for our OB and the hospital staff. when we walked into labor & delivery - i think everyone fell in love with us right then! 
we checked in, filled out the papers and got settled in to our room. things got busy quickly with nurses coming in, going over questions as well as the procedure and putting in my IV.
thankfully the IV going in this time was 100x smoother than when my IV went in with crue!



{2013} crue on the left // {2015} lake on the right




before we knew it, it was go time. and thats when i got nervous.



i really hate that they split you up from your husband while they prep you in the OR. sure its only 5,10,15 minutes - but it feels like an eternity. 
when i was wheeled in, i saw my OB and he said to me "i ate 2 donuts! I'm on a sugar high.. now i have shaky hands!" and i laughed with him. his staff all introduced themselves and went over what they would be doing - tho it was semi familiar territory. 
with crue, i was in labor and got my epidural in with isaiah nearby to help me breathe through it. this time, i was in the OR all alone when it was time for the spinal block. and let me tell you, it was a piece of cake. easy peasy. they had me sit up and propped me over with really bad posture… thats when i immediately started to bawl.

i was losing my belly. i was already sad to not be pregnant. i was mourning the loss of my bump. i was grieving. and i was grieving HARD y'all. 

the nurses had no idea. i tried so hard to hide my tears. it quickly got to the point where i could hardly breathe. they thought it was the spinal block, and kept telling me i was doing a great job. offering me a pillow and some tissues, the nurse next to me said "i bet you are ready for this to be over". thats when i told her "actually, i'm really not. the spinal block doesn't hurt at all. i'm crying because i love being pregnant". she told the team working on me that i was sad to not be pregnant and they all gave me the usual "but there will be a baby in your arms so soon!" speech.
what felt like 10 years later, i finally got my shit together and was able to quit crying. at that same moment isaiah showed up at my side and i told him i couldn't stop crying. i wasn't ready. 

but too late! i had to be ready. it was time. and we were doing this.

the procedure itself wasn't bad. just like i remembered with crue. quick, pretty painless and done well. i'll spare you the graphic photos that i made isaiah take though ;) 
before i knew it, my doctor held her over the sheet and told me she was still a baby girl - i cried a little bit. i didn't cry with crue. so i'm not sure why i cried this time. maybe because i was already so emotional about the belly but now here she was, here i could see her… ill never know. but she was crying. she was beautiful. and she had SO.MUCH.HAIR.
of all the moments we imagined her, i for some reason never pictured her with a head full of dark black hair. my sweet girl. she was here now. she was healthy. she was darling.




lakely capri
7lb 5oz
20in long
8:37am



i was able to do the recovery period in my room with both LC and isaiah. a big change from crue,  when i was in a room alone by myself, shaking and throwing up. i did not throw up once this time around, got to do skin to skin on the OR table and nurse her right away. it was wonderful.






from day 1, a planned c-section wasn't my original idea. so neither of my babies birth went as i had hoped. but they? 
they're everything i had hoped for and more.




5 comments:

  1. ALL THE EMOTIONS going on right now.
    I've been waiting for this post for some time. Though it wasn't what you'd hoped or planned, it sounds like it was the best possible decision for you all. And, that little lady? She. Is. Beautiful. Just like her momma. *mauh*
    xoxo

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  2. Oh I'm glad that everything went so much smoother for you this time around!!

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  3. I'm SO happy you had a smoother ride this time even if it wasn't exactly how you had hoped to deliver her! And also, I saw Wenda a few times when I was PG with Oliver - he is awesome. I had one of the female OB's deliver on the day he was born because that's who was on call and I loved her as well, but I have to say he's amazing too and I can't believe they won't be doing deliveries at Unity anymore! It makes me so sad!!

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  4. LOVE this!! I am no where ready for baby #2 but I had the same experience with Maverick as you did Crue and a VBac is not an option per my OB. This helped ease my fears, but I am still not ready, ha! I teared up reading this and Lakely is so gorgeous and incredibly blessed with you guys as her parents!! Onto #3?! :)

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  5. Loved reading this. You had the right mind set for sure!! You are born a mama friend! SO beautiful.

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