Tuesday, January 26, 2016

my little nursling.

breastfeeding her is so hard. 

everyone says it gets easy after the first few weeks. but i don't really think that's been true for us. once we got over the initial "how to" and latching, we had the 15+ doctor appointments telling me to quit nursing. i got mastitis twice in three weeks. she would nurse all day long. i felt like i did nothing else.
and now she bites. now she claws & pulls. now she pops off every time she hears a pin drop and wants to know what's going on. now she has serious FOMO and is distracted as heck. now she doesn't wanna be cradled, she wants to kneel or straddle my lap and nurse while sitting like a big girl, because she can do that now and she's proud. but then she's trying to stand up too! which means she drags my nipple all over while banging my chin with her head.
it's been hard the whole time.
she still can't be near me to simply hang out, snuggle or just chill. i can't even push her in the grocery cart because the sight of me makes her want to nurse. i leave the house and the moment i walk in, she's screeching for me before i even have my coat off. girlfriend loves the (.)(.)



<3 <3 <3

i did not, and do not have a nursing goal. 

were just sort of wingin' it. motherhood, you know. 

ebut i can say, in those first few weeks, those first three MONTHS!, i didn't think we'd be here today. so when she turned 6 months, i asked my friend Nicole to specifically take a shot of me feeding my baby girl. it's been quite the journey for us.

im just a mom, feeding her baby. providing comfort. building trust. no better than the mom next to me, because we're all just trying to figure it out right?

i didn't think we'd be here - but my. here we are. and i don't hate it one bit.


  1. I love this whole post.
    Nursing is SO hard. I was terrified I'd have the same experience as Julia as with Marcus (which was zero nursing). But! Here we are, almost 6 months in and going strong. We've faced so many challenges (engorgement, mastitis, a bleb - a FREAKING bleb), but we've made it. There's no goal for us either, just doing the best we can for as long as we can.
    You're doing an awesome job, momma!!!

  2. You are doing great! Hang in there!